As I sit here at 3:30am listening to my oldest coughing so frequently that she can't fall back to sleep..dumb ol' cold....my sleep deprived brain is wandering. I can't give her more meds, it's too soon. I've propped her up, had her sip water, went and got the humidifer...nothing seems to be working. However, it's occurred to me that between her and my little guy's teething and recent growth-spurt-inspired middle-of-the-night feeding again, I can't remember the last time I slept through the night myself and/or got more than 5 hrs of sleep uninterrupted.
I realize that there are bigger worries and bigger problems in the world as well as knowing that parents have been doing this for generations but I've never worked so hard on so little sleep in my life 'til I had kids.
I USED to think I knew what tired was working fulltime on midnight shift while I attended school fulltime during the day.
I USED to think I was tired working 30hrs a week evenings and weekends to maintain health benefits while student teaching all day during the week.
I USED to think I knew what tired was teaching a 60+ hrs week my first few years and also having a part-time job to help meet the bills.
But, none of that compares with how hard I've worked and how truly mind-numbingly tired I've been the last three years. And, had I not been blessed with a husband that was willing to work so hard out of the home to afford me the chance to stay home myself, I don't know how I would have coped. I don't know how working-outside-the-home and/or single moms do this! They are much stronger women than me! LOL I have learned a WHOLE new level of respect for my divorced/single mom.
But, I've also learned more about God's love being a parent than I could ever imagine. Mommas operate on that small amount of sleep with an incomprehensible amount of unconditional love...love that was difficult for me to understand that God had for me until I had these amazing miracles brought into my life. There is no explanation of how I function day to day except for by God's grace and with His strength.
So wearily I think...praise God for His son and His example of unconditional love
Praise God for my little miracles and all the others He has brought inot this world.
and I send up a prayer of comfort, peace, strength, and wisdom for all those amazing mommies that are here and that we know who are doing this terrifying but ultimately rewarding job as a single and/or working-outside-the-home mom. You go girl! LOL