2006 03 30 Before and After

I’ve actually been disappointed in the past that I didn’t have a “Paul on the road to Damascus” conversion. No “rags to God’s riches” testimony. Nothing exciting (in my opinion) to touch someone else’s heart to convince them come to Christ. Just a nearly 20 year wandering which includes growth in Christ, backsliding, changing churches, changing denominations as God still sifts away the chaff and softens the edges that remain. I’m not normally one for patience and delayed gratification but I was thinking today…

Before I was married, I was church going but living for myself. After I was married, I witnessed in others what it is like to truly live for Christ and it brought me to tears and filled me with awe.

Before I was married, I was an independent career girl who didn’t need any man to take care of me. After I was married, I learned about true submission to Jesus and my husband.

Before I was married, I dated a man separated from his wife and thought nothing of it. After I was married, I learned what marriage really was like and repented. I am now not only a bride to my darling husband but a bride to Christ.

Before I was married, I lived in the world and of the world and planned on raising kids the same way I was raised. What was wrong with it? I turned out OK. After I was married, I have learned through years of infertility and the eventual miracles granted to me in my children that they are the most tender, precious things and (next to my relationship with Christ) my relationship with them and my husband precedes all things and should be protected from any worldly influences that take our focus off Christ.

All these changes have occurred in the 6 years since I met my husband, changed denominations, and joined my current church. While it is still not a dramatic instantaneous conversion per se, this kind of life change only occurs under the supervision of the only One who matters. And, these changes may be small compared to the conversion that happens when one becomes a believer. But, as I try to get my mind around God’s ability to transform people’s lives, my life begins to show me what is truly possible in Christ. While fear holds me back from the next step forward in my Walk and I realize that I have a long way to go yet, this brings me comfort.