Monday, July 23, 2007

What's Appropriate?

Feeling a little confused after the weekend. Da Hubby and I have been hashing over an issue since Saturday afternoon and I still haven't come to any sort of resolution. So, I figure I'll throw it out to you ladies (I say "ladies" since I think DaHubby is my own male reader! *wink*) and see what you think...

Saturday morning DaHubby and I decided to take Flicka for her first lengthy canoe paddle. Leaving near Lake Michigan and one of its lovely tributaries has its advantages! LOL So, we made the necessary arrangements for Pojke to spend the afternoon with DaGrandma who was going to be baking goodies (rough life, huh? LOL) and the three of us rigged up the car and the van to be canoe-ready, dropped off the van at out exit point and we were off to our entry point!

We drove a couple miles out of town to a local river access park. Flicka was nearly vibrating from excitement. It was gonna be a great day! While DaHubby unloaded the gear, I got Flicka all greased up with sunscreen. We finished getting everything we needed in the boat, got Flicka settled in her "canoe chair" DaHubby set up for her with strict instructions to never, ever, ever stand up, and we were off!

The paddle was wonderful! The weather perfect! Flicka actually sat still and "helped" paddle (by dragging another paddle along side the canoe and splashing a bit LOL). We got out and stretched our legs about 2/3 of the way. The last 1/3 was a little rough on Flicka but we saw blue herons, fish, LOTS of geese, ducks, birds, etc. so she was mildly occupied.

Three hours from when we started we pulled into our exit point's boat ramp and began to load up the van for the trip back to get the car. Then, I noticed it...

My wedding ring was gone.

I had taken it off and set it next to me to put the sunscreen on Flicka...and left it on the dock at our entry point! *sigh* I immediately told DaHubby - who, let me tell ya', is an absolute saint in situations like this! "It'll be alright. It's OK."

We hurriedly packed up and rushed back to the original park. Meanwhile, I'm trying not to cry and hyperventilate. Flicka is starting to pick up that something's wrong. I had even went to my knees near the back of the van to pray.

We arrived back at the entry point to no ring. It was gone. And, I fell apart. But, thanks to DaHubby's low-key reaction, I began to wonder...as a Christian, what was an appropriate level of upset-ness for something like this?

The ring is still a "thing". It's just "stuff" as DaHubby and I have called things before. It's replaceable. The kids are healthy. We're healthy. We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, family that loves us, and, most importantly, we still have our faith and salvation in Christ.

But...

That ring already has SUCH sentimental value even for us only being married 6 years. DaHubby drew a picture in the sand one weekend after we met and said THAT'S the ring he wanted for me...and then FOUND IT after scouring half a dozen jewelry stores.

We had a lot of "fives" connected to our meeting...we met on 5-25, 5 weeks later he proposed, 5 weeks after that I quit my job and moved across the state to be near him, we were married on 5-5 of the following year. My ring has five little stones on each side of the main one.

And, that ring symbolized to me all the amazing transformations and healings God worked in both of us from the day we met until our first anniversary. DaHubby was my answer to prayer and that ring was my symbol of that. *sigh*

So, I still have Christ but I have no ring...so what's an appropriate level of "mourning" over things? I would feel ridiculous complaining about this ring to someone like Heather with her recent cancer struggles or to a family member whose possibly looking at a second melanoma diagnosis.

Another thought - I was SO surprised/impressed/moved/horrified at a funeral DaHubby and I attended pre-Vikings with his parents at a super-traditional Pentecostal/Apostolic church where they were literally singing and praising God that their loved one had joined Jesus in heaven. Barely a tear in the place and many smiles to behold. How silly it seems in light of that to be upset over this ring.

But, it's mmmyyyy ring (*whine*)...

So, sisters in Christ, counsel me. What's an appropriate level of upset-ness?

8 comments:

Unashamed said...

I think it's entirely appropriate to grieve the loss of your wedding ring. The wedding ring symbolizes the completeness that husband and wife find in each other which is a beautiful picture of Christ the Bridegroom and his Bride the Church. That completeness of relationship - your marriage - is a reality that you and your hubby cherish, nourish and protect, so it seems natural that you would cherish the symbol of your completeness - in Christ and each other - as well.

I know I would be devastated if I lost mine and I think it would take me a while to get over it. It really is like grieving.

Lady of Value said...

Beth, I understand how you feel about the wedding ring - I lost my first set to a house fire. At that time I had gained some weight and could not wear my rings, so I put them on a chain to wear as a necklace. That day I did not wear the necklace and we went out that night, only to be called a few hours later that our mobile home was on fire. Anyway, it took us years to replace the set and the ones I have now are not the same as my first one. My 'new' ones actually came from a pawn shop, was all we could afford. I cried a long time about my ring too so I feel your pain about the ring, but it is just a ring and it can be replaced.

Lisa said...

It's okay to be sad! Just don't beat yourself up about it. It was an accident.

Sorry that you lost your ring!!

Hugs,
Lisa

Karen said...

I'd be sad too! I think that a reasonable amount of grieving is normal and that there isn't anything wrong with being upset, even though it is just a 'thing'.

And, I think God wants us to celebrate our marriages and our rings are a symbol of that, so I'm sure He understands the sadness that comes with losing that symbol.

sara said...

I remember as a teenager i lost my graduation ring and a special pearl ring my mom had given me. I was so upset because I loved those rings and because I thought I'd be in trouble. My mom was like DaHubby - so understanding. She pointed out to me that material things, things of this earth, can be stolen, lost, or ruined.

Funny now I'm thinking about it those diamond ads keep coming in my head - y'know the ones that say "diamonds are forever"? Not true though, huh? All things pass away ...

Anyway, I would be sad and would mourn the loss of the rings too but hopefully the Lord has something wonderful to show you through this.

Madame Rubies said...

I would be just as upset as you are. (((HUGS)))

Debbie said...

You are allowed to be upset and to grieve over this. Just because we are Christians doesn't keep us from having natural emotions. I can understand your devastation.

I don't want to give you false hope or anything, but what about checking the paper for lost/found. I know it's a stretch, but stranger things have happened AND of course ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH CHRIST.

Praying for you!

Beth/Mom2TwoVikings said...

Deb - We've put an ad in the paper as well as calling 2 of the possible 3 police departments that would be convenient for a honest person's drop-off. No luck yet.