Tuesday, May 29, 2007

We're Home

The weekend didn't go quite as planned. Taking the kids so far into cooler-than-expected weather with so few conveniences began wear down even DaHubby's positive camping and U.P.-visiting attitude. We came home a day early to salvage yesterday as at least one day to spend together peacefully when it happened...my first mommy-heart-breaking moment.

"I don't like you!"

Nearly everything I've done in the last few days has solicited silence, grudging compliance, attempted ignoring, or those four words from Flicka.

My heart is broken. My confidence shattered.

When we surprised my in-laws by showing up at their favorite breakfast place yesterday morning, Flicka refused to come home with me. *sigh*

When we picked her up that afternoon and I had turned off the TV at the end of the show she was watching to pack her up, she came at me swinging. *sigh*

There's also some sibling rivalry issues that (as an only child) I thought I was addressing but DaHubby (one of six) assures me that I am feeding with Flicka re: Pojke.

So, I'm all a-jumble emotionally and need to work some things out. While I'm not "fasting" blog writing per se, I'm still not feeling in a position to write a lot. I'll be around, licking my ouchies, and figuring out what to do from here.

As a side note, I have a 400+ pictures that DaHubby took this weekend and somehow I have to select a handful to throw together a quick web page so my parents can see "what fun" the kids had this weekend. So when I get that done later today, I'll link back here.

6 comments:

Unashamed said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. It must be hard on you to hear that from your sweet daughter. Hard as it is, this is NOT about her not liking you. It is about her realizing that she is her own person and not just an extension of her mom and dad. Your job now is to rechannel what she is saying and how she is behaving into appropriate ways of expressing her individuality. Discourage her from speaking and acting disrespectfully towards you - your husband can help with this - and show her respect by acknowledging her growing independence. It'll be ok honey. Pray for wisdom and guidance. And patience. How about I pray too? One final thought: she would not say and do these things unless she felt secure in her love from you. If she felt insecure she would not risk alienating you with her behaviour. In a backwards way, she's telling you she trusts you.

Lisa said...

Sending you a hug from here!! It'll be okay... really!!!

Christina said...

Beth,

I know how you feel. At two and a half, Emily has said to me "You're a mean mommy!" and she proceeded to tell my mom the same thing over the phone.

It is heartbreaking, but like "unashamed" said, it does mean that she trusts you and feels secure. In an odd way, the bad behavior she "saves" for you is a sign of how comfortable she is with mommy. It doesn't make it any easier, but sometimes it is helpful to be reminded of this.

Hang in there, sweetie! It really is a phase.

sara said...

ugh! I am so sorry you're going through this and feeling so down. You've got some good advice and love and prayers coming at you in these comments, though. Adding my prayers as well.

Laurel Wreath said...

Well bummer. I am sorry it did not go well, and you as it is to hear those word (unfortunately won't probably be the last). Whenever my kids said something like that, I just said "Well that is too bad because I love you!" I said that so when they were feeling guilty later on, and calmed down there was no doubt about my feelings for them in their head =)

Being a mother is so stinkin hard sometimes. Hang in there gal.

Andie said...

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It's not uncommon, but hurts so much! My son (5 1/2 yrs) told me two weeks ago that he hates me, and that he wants to call the police and get a new mommy. I totally understand how your heart is broken and you just want to cry. I will be praying for you!
Blessings-
Andie