Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thursday Thanks Tank

It's been an amazing two weeks...changes, discussions, Bible reading, incredible services, uplifting music, conviction, resolution, breaking down, and being lifted up. And, I could feel God's hand all over it. All of it was interconnected. It was a transition not only to a new year but a new part of my walk in Christ.

For the first time that I can remember, I did what I was told. I left it on the altar. And, I've prayed in the moment, during the day more than I ever have. I've read my Bible more recently than I have in months. And, what a difference it has made! In my life. In my interactions with the Vikings. With DaHubby. The feeling inside our home has been more peaceful with occasional bouts of kid attitude as opposed to what the last couple months have felt like: constant rain and storms of acting out with the "freak" occurrence of sunny behavior.

Confirmations were dropping in all over. Things said to us in passing. Scriptures read alone or in silence, then mentioned again unprovoked from someone else. Small blessings popping in here and there. So much has happened and I was unable to blog about it at the time because I was still having the feeling of swimming in it without much perspective. But, now looking back, I've lost some of the detail instead.

Some of what's been going on:

Had an argument with a family member that resulted in them hanging up on me.
Have had a younger (half) sister on my mind and on my heart for issues she's dealing with - physical, legal, and emotional
Had a particularly bad incident with Flicka that made me seriously question my parenting skills and my lack of control when angry.
DaHubby's hours were cut again at work.
Had some amazing family time between Cmas and New Years.
Had a better time than I can describe hosting an old friend and her family who are now missionaries home on furlough. What an awesome 24 hour visit!
Was blessed by the two friends who joined us with their kids for Pojke's birthday.
DaHubby's shop had an employee meeting that ended badly and resulted in prohibitive new rules/guidelines that have shut down any positive morale remaining.
Have lost touch with that old friend who I wrote about here.
Got a "free" and unexpected half of a payment for one of our Visa bills!
Got anointed and prayed over at church several times for strength, vision, wisdom, and re-commitment.
Had my "debut" as a solo worship leader *rolls eyes*
Had the basement flood (again)!

Ultimately, I was immensely changed by the revelation I posted for last week's Thankful Thursday. The last week has been one miracle after another as I think I FINALLY get it about walking in God's peace despite the world's craziness.

And, I've been blessed by time, unstructured time, when I just let go of everything - the worry, the anxiety, the stress - and asked God to help me get through what *really* needed to be done. I've had time to sit and talk to DaHubby after Vikings bedtime as opposed to running around trying to get a few more things checked off so tomorrow's list wasn't so long. I've snuggled the kids more. Got down and played with them. Tossed aside cleaning and to-do's for extra trips to the kids' museum and the indoor playgrounds at our local Dairy Queen and McDonald's. Y'know what? The world didn't come to an end. Nothing was all that different...except *I* was different! I'm still tired, exhausted at the end of the day but at least I ENJOYED the day more, and I ENJOYED my kids more, and I ENJOYED my hubby more.

I'm exhausted (still) but I have hope. I have peace. I have (some LOL) motivation for the goals I've set before me for 2008. I'm excited about I'll be reading and learning and doing this next year. I'm geeked about getting back to homeschooling.

Maybe it's hard to understand if you haven't lived daily with the anxiety I have for so many years - due to personality, due to history, due to the ADD, etc. But, to have a week so filled with peace regardless of life's winds blowing around me is something I've prayed for, wished, for, sought, and been envious of in others is nothing short of an act of God!

Remember that it is only with Him acting through me is this possible has probably been the biggest lesson.

And, with this rambling, I thank God. I thank Him for all He's done, all He's doing in me and through me. The chipping away of the old, icky stuff and the nurturing of something new has rejuvenated me despite some physical concerns and physical pain.

Praise Him!


Beth said...

You certainly have plenty to be thankful for this Thursday. I'm sorry for how things are going at DaHubby's work. I know how awful it can be when you work somewhere horrible. I did last year and God certainly rewarded me for it this year! He does notice and reward us for doing our jobs to the best of our ability.

Pam said...

Thanks so much for sharing what God is teaching you. Your post is inspiring, Beth.

Karen said...

Thanks for linking me back to these posts! I really like what you said about letting go of things so you can ENJOY the really important stuff. If I don't let go of some of that expectation of perfection, then I'll completely miss the good parts.