Re-tackling my mission statement

During our Financial Peace University class, one chapter was on "Careers and Extra Jobs." During that week, one part of our homework assignments was to create a personal mission statement. I've done these a million times before for college classes, teacher-training classes, professional/continuing ed classes and seminars, etc. I written them as required and put them aside each time.

However, with a variety of factors playing through my head lately, I've decided to tackle it again. And, then display it as Dave Ramsey suggests - even if it is still a work in progress - because I need to be held accountable, held to a standard that I picked out and believe in.

That corny country song lyric keeps playing in my head: "You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything." The last 10 years of my life seem to have been all about figuring out what do *I* really believe and why? And, more important lately, shouldn't I be able to stand up for it and defend it?

For too long of a time, I've never given much thought (unfortunately) about what I think about things. I've pretty much found people I trusted and took their views as my own figuring that's what everyone did. But, as my 40th birthday rears its head in a few short weeks, I find that if I want a life that is truly mine, that is not nearly enough. My lack of "adolescent rebellion" and challenging is now WWAAYY overdue! LOL

Enough acting already. Enough worrying about others liking me, keeping the peace, and others withdrawing from/leaving/abandoning me. What am I about? What did God intend for me?

Also, this book has been rattling my cage and shaking all my foundations as I begin to read about a believer's Biblically-based, God-provided boundaries (personal space as well as "mental" space) that, when built up appropriately and in age-appropriate steps, make us happy in our walk with Christ, in ourself, and in our relationships and, as a result, mentally healthy to do God's will.

I've been passively allowing myself to be filled with others' opinions, thoughts, and priorities most of my life. It's always been easier to "go along." It's hard to look back and find many decisions (major or minor) that I can acknowledge and take ownership for that didn't include hours and days and weeks of wondering what would everyone else think, what would everyone else want, and what would keep the peace. As a result, many of my decisions have been made either with others' needs in mind or in desperation to get away from the showdown of wanting something that I felt would upset others.

What worries my heart most - if I can't define and defend what I believe and why, how can I be a good witness for Christ? Why are the powers and people of this world able to make me feel "smaller" for what I believe? The answer? Painfully? Because I let them!

As it is with most issues with a lot of "baggage" and years of layers of meaning, I feel like writing huge explanations, justifications, and ready-made apologies so as not to come off appearing selfish and self-centered and making anyone angry. But, I'm gonna just let this lay here as it is for now.

Just as Dave Ramsey gives his "baby steps" to financial peace, this is one of my baby steps. One inch forward. One step out in faith.