Thursday, March 29, 2007

Havin' A "Glory Mood"

Don’t you hate those medical tests where you can’t eat anything for 12 hours or so? On a normal day, you might not have even thought abut eating but knowing that you CAN’T eat make food all the more tempting!

I finally had a physical two weeks ago. It was the first one in four years. Because I’ve been pregnant with or nursing a little someone since June 2003, I’ve just been under the care of my OB. So, after four years of “combat duty” with my resulting “combat scars” (aka stretch marks), I went into my general practitioner with a long laundry list of things I’ve been putting off. Family histories needed updating: my mom’s battled cancer and my dad’s hip has been replaced due a genetic issue in that time. My maternal family’s history of thyroid problems needed to be checked not to mention blood work for cholesterol and all that good stuff. And, while I’ve lost 30 pounds post-partum, I’ve gained 10 of it back over the winter and still have about 50 more to go!

Anyway, one issue resulted in me being schedule for an esophagram – a lovely experience that entails gulping two Alka Seltzer-type tablets, drinking water, and being instructed not to burp! Then, you get to drink a moderately nasty white goop in gulps. And, finally, you get a large water bottle filled with an even nastier white liquid and a straw and told to drink it as quickly as possible…while laying down!

As someone who blessedly has had few if any health issues, a relatively simple, non-evasive test like put me through the roof of anxiety. Da Hubby offered repeatedly to go with me but I declined. As I drove to the appointment that day, I was obsessing about allthat could be wrong. But, “fear is lack of faith; lack of faith brings fear” kept ringing in my ears. Then, I had a realization. God is in control. He would not have anything happen to me that was not in His plan and without His strength to carry me through.

I started to try and think of Scripture…” Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you…” (John 14.27) immediately popped into my mind. I just kept repeating it and repeating it. When the initial calm began to fill me, I felt I needed to sing to one of the praise and worship CD’s we keep in the van’s player. I turn it on and the first words I hear…”I will give you rest…” from Big Daddy Weave. The tears began to flow. Here are the full lyrics…I sang it twice before arriving at the doctor.

To all who are weary and those who are heavy laden
Lay at the feet of the one who loves you best
Bring all of your trials and all of your tribulation
Come unto me and I will give you rest

I will give you rest

Take my yoke upon you
Come and learn from me
For I am humble in spirit and so you must also be
Lo I will be with you in the midst of every test
If you run unto me, I will give you rest

I will give you rest

I walked into that appointment completely at rest, at peace, comforted and happy. I felt like I was beaming like a fool! LOL So, after all the rig-a-ma-role of checking in, I find myself in the oh-so-lovely double gown get-up: one that opens in the back and one that opens in the front. I go into the imaging room determined not to let any fear steal my “glory mood.” There were grouchy techs…nope, sorry! There were uncooperative computers…nope, that’s not gonna do it! There was the 20 minute wait…ain’t gonna happen.

I don’t sit still well, however. So, as the 10 minute wait stretched to 15 and then 20, I was still getting antsy. So, I got up and paced. But, to keep in a mood of thankfulness, I chose to sing…out loud…and loudly! LOL The tech came to check on me twice. I’m sure she thought I’d lost my mind! LOL When searching my brain for a praise and worship song we’d done at church lately, a different one popped to mind. One I’ve been trying to memorize to sing as a special but could never quite get it right. In that moment, in that funky place, and in that weird environment, I remembered every word verbatim! Another one from Big Daddy Weave. I sang it over and over and over…

I come on my knees

To lay down before you
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know you
Seeking your face
And not only your hand
I find you embracing me
Just as I am

And I lift these songs
To you and you alone
As I sing to you
In my praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours, Lord

So what could I bring
To honor your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
And all that I have
Is the life that you've given me
So Lord let me live for you
My song with humility

Once the test began, my “glory mood” never broke…even with drinking that awful stuff! I knew that all would be fine! The test revealed the smallest of small beginnings of a hiatal hernia. No big deal. Something to watch. No meds required. No follow up. Nothing.
I couldn’t even wait to get out of the building to call Da Hubby to tell him what had happened. What else could I say…isn’t God great!


Christina said...

Glad to hear that the dreaded test went well and that you are fine.

I may very well be headed for the same type of test with the same type of dread. I've got tummy issues that seem to be getting worse, not better. Can I ask what your symptoms were that led you to this test (and diagnosis)? You can email them to me if you don't want to share them publicly or you don't have to share at all. :)

Glad you doing okay!

Lisa said...

Wow! God is so good!!!