Fear has been getting the better of me lately. So has worrying. It's only been a little over 7 days since we found out that we are expecting again. Böna has a scheduled arrival date of March 8th - right after my birthday on the 6th and Flicka's on the 9th. Yet, the next 10 months are stretching out in front of me like a kid waiting for Christmas or a year-away Disney vacation.
So, with the lack of something better to do and with my trademark impatience, I've begun to worry. So, being deliberately thankful today is more important than ever.
I've worried about losing this pregnancy - like the one I lost before. In 2002, this is the week in the pregnancy that the baby stopped growing and we didn't find out until 3 weeks later...and I'm scheduled for my first OB appt in 3 weeks.
Mark 4:40 But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How [is it] that you have no faith?"
So, I am thankful that all my life is in His hands. I will seek Him and lean on my faith to enjoy this last pregnancy and not fritter it away worrying. And, let His will be done for whatever does happen He is with me. Thank you, Lord, for walking through this with me.
Then, I've wasted too much time being overly anxious about all the things that could go wrong and failing to remember how many things have gone right, including the simple miracle I'm pregnant at all. I figure Mary had few doubts that the Lord's birth would come to pass. *wink*
But, worries about something happening to me (I lost a college friend who laid down for a nap during her second trimester and never woke up) or something being wrong with the baby (I am 40 and all and my odds of there being a genetic problem increase each year) have spent too much time interfering with the simple joy of being pregnant again.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
So, I will say thank you Lord for Your spirit in me, its power, and Your love. Help to keep me focused on that and not the "things of this world" and to remember to use that sound and thankful mind to look forward boldly instead of backwards in fear. NOTHING is impossible with God.
Finally, where are we going to put Böna? How are we gonna pay for the hospital bills? The diapers? Ugh, more diapers! LOL An additional car seat? What will this change do to Flicka and Pojke? What will it mean that come March DaHubby and I will be outnumbered? LOL
Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
So, I say...thank you for all the provision You've provided for us. Help me to step out in faith, proclaim this miracle to all, have faith Your hand is in this process, and this pregnancy be to Your glory.
For more deliberate thankfulness, check out Pam's place and the ladies of Thankful Thursday.