Shaken and Refined

The last year has been one of change for the Viking Hus.

DaHubby was laid off in February from a place he had worked at for nearly 20 years.

I worked outside the home for the first in a long time in March and April.

DaHubby graduated in the top 5 of his class in May with a degree in his new field.

Flicka began all-day school in September.

After many interviews and some traveling, DaHubby finally landed a job in October (I think) but it didn't start 'til January.

I worked outside the home again in November and December.

DaHubby moved to another state in December while the Vikings and I continue to hold down the fort here in Michigan.

The layoff has brought a shaking to our finances, our marriage, our friendships, our extended family, and to our parenting of the Vikings. It has seemed like God was slowly taking away bit by bit and refining what remained all year.

We've learned how much we can count on each other.

We've learned how much farther we can stretch a dollar. LOL

We've learned we are incredibly blessed with extended family and friends as well as having awesome church family.

We've learned how little we truly need to live.

We've learned to be happy with less and enjoy the simple things more.

We've learned that "keeping up with the Jones" is a lie of the devil and that our only focus should be on things eternal.

We've learned that being "weird" is better than going into debt.

We've had opportunity to discuss with the Vikings a neat and novel concept called delayed gratification. LOL

We've been able to show the Vikings why waiting and then paying saved-up cash is better.

We've learned that eating out is most often a waste and very rarely tastes as good as home cooking.

We've learned that even if we don't have money, we can still serve our church and community using our time and talents.

We've learned that no matter how little we have financially that we still can afford to give and tithe.

We've learned to *really* and "truly* lean on God's provision and on His timing.

We've learned to swallow our pride.

We've learned there is no shame in asking for help.

And, while DaHubby is now working full time, we are not just suddenly out of the proverbial woods. We still have a bit of a long road back to complete financial "peace" again not to mention we have to get our family living in the same home again. But, it's coming.

The work isn't done. Mid-2011 is a line-in-the-sand of sorts. And, as a result, 2012 is gonna look a heck of a lot different than 2010 did.

And, my prayer is that we will remember and take all these lessons into that new life. That we will remember this valley as a time of testing that God, our families, and our friends carried us through. That we will remember what is truly important and not fill our new life with all the junk we just painfully spent the last few years shedding. LOL

Amen! Let it be so!

Praying in the Moment

I don't pray the way I "should"

I don't even pray the way I would want to.

But, I do want to learn...

And, I'm taking baby steps to get prayer into my everyday life in addition to the quiet time one spends with God each day.

Three things that I do daily:

1. It's something I learned from a kindergarten teacher who worked in the same building as me when I taught 7th/8th grade English. Every time the class heard a siren (which considering the school is about 3 blocks from the police station and the biggest fire station in town), he corralled his little ones, they would stop what they were doing, and pray.

As a former law enforcement person, this really appeals to me. I've even gotten the Vikings to start the habit. We pray for the first responders and we pray for those they are going to serve - regardless of whether they're the injured/hurt or the suspect in a crime. Auditory clues work well with me since my ADD picks up every little nuance that could distract me so I made it into a silver lining and as a clue to pray.

2. I pray over Flicka as she exits the van every morning at school drop-off. At this point, I still get out of the minivan and walk around to unbuckle her, help her with her backpack, etc. So, as she steps down from the car seat but has yet to jump down to the ground, I put both hands on her face to kiss her, then pull her close and whisper in her ear my prayer over her. We mostly pray for her, her classmates, and her teacher. Nothing major but it's in the moment.

3. Finally, almost every morning - depending on what's going on with his schedule - I walk DaHubby to the door when he leaves for work. And, as is habit in his extended family and has become one with us, I stand at the door 'til he pulls away. Then, as I shut the door, I have a visual cue at eye level to remind me. So, as DaHubby drives down to the corner, I'm praying for him. I stand at the door with my hand on it for some extra time deliberately covering him with prayer.

I don't share these to be all "high and mighty" but to share what I'm doing so others can provide additional suggestions. So, how do YOU pray in the moment each day?

Safe Travel

If you read this Sunday before noon, DaHubby, the Vikings and I will most likely be en route from Alpena to the Upper Peninsula. Prior to leaving, I scanned my concordance for Bible passages about safe travel and found none that fit my mood.

Then, I searched the net and stumbled across this. I don't know who to attribute it to (I found the same prayer on a Greek Orthodox site) but it's *just right* and exactly what I was looking for. Wanted to share it:

Lord Jesus Christ my God, be my Companion, guide and protector during my journey. Keep me from all danger, misfortune and temptation. By Your divine power grant me a peaceful and successful journey and safe arrival. In You I place my hope and trust and You I praise, honor and glorify, together with Your Father and Holy Spirit now and forever and ever. Amen.

Lord Jesus, You traveled with the two disciples after the resurrection and set their hearts on fire with Your grace. Travel also with me and gladden my heart with Your presence. I know, Lord, that I am a pilgrim on this earth, seeking the citizenship which is in heaven. During my journey surround me with Your holy angels and keep me safe from seen and unseen dangers. Grant that I may carry out my plans and fulfill my expectations according to Your will. Help me to see the beauty of creation and to comprehend the wonder of Your truth in all things. For You are the way, the truth and the life, and to You I give thanks, praise and glory forever. Amen

March 8th

I'm kinda glad that day came between my birthday last Friday and Flicka's on Monday. With all that's been going on - including Flicka's party on Saturday - it's been easy to "forget" the passing of March 8th.

I am thankful for my life - don't get me wrong. I am very, very, VERY aware of how precious life is. Miscarriages: our two little angels in 2002 and 2008. Cancer: losing my brother-in-law, Pojke's namesake, in 2005 and by a miracle of God's hand still having my sister-in-law here after a brutal battle with a rare leukemia last year. Accidents: losing friends in 1988 and 1996 and nearly losing one my of little sisters in 2007. And, my little Viking miracles themselves.

But, I knew my heart would be breaking a bit on Sunday.

I was due with Böna on Sunday...and given my labor history, I would still be carrying that lil' one right now just about to pop.

And, I have been trying to be at peace as I've watch several bloggy, Twitter, and Facebook friends "enjoying" the challenges of second and third trimesters. But, it's been hard.

I *know* that I'm now 41. I know that I've been considered "advance maternal age" for nearly all my pregnancies. And, I know how entirely exhausted DaHubby and I are from raising the Vikings while DaHubby works while attending school full time. I know that eventually we may be moving extensively due to DaHubby's new upcoming career. I know that with DaHubby's work hours being cut recently that we're often *just barely* making it these last few months. I DO NOT miss those sleepless nights, the soreness from nursing, or the diapers that we are nearly free of except for Pojke's overnights.

I know all that - but I just don't feel "done" yet.

Yet, I can't barely hold an infant at this point. And, I'm afraid of what will happen if I hold one too long. Will I desperately want another? CAN I have another? Will I finally know I'm done and begin to mourn that relatively small part of my life?

After working and praying and scraping and climbing out of situation after situation to just GET pregnant, it is very, very hard to do something permanent on the conception front. I've learned to lean on God in ways I never, ever, EVER anticipated to get pregnant and in being a parent so why couldn't I trust Him with this?

I still have incredibly mixed feelings every month as cycle day 12-16 roll around as well as those edgy, anticipatory days before my monthly guest arrives.

All I know is that He knows what is best. And, that I need to trust Him with everything and all will be fine. So, why am I having such a hard time with this?

I feel like the Vikings when I'm trying to get them out the door to load them up in the van and they insist that they're coming but they have to bring this and this and this with them. It feels like God's trying to edge me forward but I'm insisting on brings this and this and this with me as I walk towards Him. But, I'm so loaded down and my hands are so full that I'm not able to receive what He has for me.

My MOMS Club is having a garage sale in May which will be limited to baby and mom stuff only. So, Lord, I need an answer...do I clear the basement of all the baby stuff in storage even though just typing those words is making my eyes fill with tears? And, Lord, keep our little angels close to you. Whisper to them that we love them and miss them and that we'll see them soon.

*sigh*

"Give me revelation...Show me what to do...
'Cause I've been trying to find my way...I haven't got a clue...
Tell me should I stay here...or do I need to move...
Give me revelation...I've got nothing without You!"

-Third Day, "Revelation"

Busy plus an upcoming project

Didn't realize it 'til just now that I hadn't posted since Thursday. Apparently, my Twitter and recent Facebook addictions has taken more time than I thought - because I'm definitely online as much as always but just not here writing! LOL

Friday we spent the day at home just chillin' out and DaHubby surprised us with a dinner out with a family from church.

Saturday morning we ran errands and played while DaHubby was in school. That afternoon DaHubby and I "divided and conquered" the Vikings by having Flicka helped Daddy with a household project (with tools!) while Mom and Pojke attended a wonderful 3rd birthday with some friends. (Note to self: apparently it's time to be more careful what I wear to "mommy events" since one mom at the birthday party blurted out "Wow, I've never seen you so dressed up [I was in a jean skirt and sweater!]- you're always in sweats." LOL)

Sunday morning was spent in worship with DaHubby leading the P&W team and me singing with some of my favorite church buddies. We tried out one of the new songs we've been working on. DaHub's wasn't too happy with it but I thought it sounded great! LOL

Then, Sunday afternoon - the grandparents descended! LOL My mom and step-dad came over from the Detroit area and will be here 'til Tuesday. SO, we will probalby be somewhat scarce as we visit and have some fun.

And, speaking of fun, two weeks from today I'm starting our Viking Family Fun advent calendar so the planning is underway! Brainstorming from last year's calendar and tweaking some things here and there, I have about 14 of the 25 days filled so far. I'll reveal what exacctly we're doing as we get close to December 1.

Finally, for those that picked up on the prayer request via this blog, Twitter, and Facebook, please continue to keep my friend D in your prayers. The only update I've heard is that she's been released from the hospital but have yet to hear about any memorial-type services for her son, Ethan.

In addition, there's been a bit of a setback from my sister-in-law Peggy. She's been celebrating being able to return to work as of November 1 but almost immediately began to have some unexplained swelling in her legs and her docs around here are sending her back to Chicago today for an appointment with her cancer-fighting team.

Thanks as always to everyone who keeps up with our tokig liv (crazy life) via this blog. Your continued comments, emails, thoughts, and prayers are very much treasured and appreciated.

Prayer Request

MIL's knee replacement surgery (originally schedule for 2nd week of October) has been moved up to THIS Thursday. Prayers for her, her surgery, and her recovery.

Also, FIL's post-op/biopsy infection (and resulting hospitalization) were not getting better with the oral antibiotics they sent him home with. Re-tested last week due to a new fever and he found out it's E Coli! Prayers for him and his healing.

Let Us Not Forget; Let Us Pray

Moment of silence at 8:46am EDT

And, join with the Vikings, myself, and others at noon you local time for this event.

Cry Out America

Are you in the US? What are you doing eighteen days from now on September 11th? Are you interested in being part of a nationwide day of nondenominational prayer - like that of May 1st?

"On September 11, 2008 our nation will pause to remember the greatest 'wake-up' call in our generation, the terrorist attacks on 9/11/01. As part of Awakening America, a call is being issued for Christians across the nation to mark this significant day in our history with powerful prayer for America and the lost individuals of this country.

"In every one of the 3141 counties in the United States, during the noon lunch hour on September 11, Christians will unite around their county courthouse to cry out to God with focused prayer for their community, their lost friends and family, and for the spiritual condition of our nation."

We found out yesterday that our home church is the organizer for our county's Cry Out America activities. We will be meeting at our county's courthouse that Saturday like we do for National Day of Prayer.

Did you know that according to Awakening America's site:

• Only 17 percent of Americans attend church on any given Sunday.
• Moral failure among Christian leaders continues at a high level.
• America has become the 3rd largest mission field in the world.

Find out here where this event is taking place near you.

Guess where WE had church today!?

On our new property!!

...the first Sunday morning service, the first communion, the first offering...to God be the glory!

Yikes! Plan B!

...and 24 hours to execute!

Was planning a quiet day for myself and the Vikings. Maybe a trip downtown, feed the ducks, go to the park. That kind of thing. And, I was browsing the paper a few minutes ago to see if there were any garage sales around my home and downtown we should stop by.

And, there were THREE garage sale ads within a 6 block area of my house...one four-family one right across the street! That one starts tomorrow!

Now, I was planning on doing a garage sale myself next weekend but to take advantage of the "free advertising" and the large amount of people who will be in the area tomorrow, and after discussing it with DaHubby, I now have 24 hours to get ready for a garage sale!!

AARRGG!! LOL

Boxes. Tables. Permit. Signs. Price stickers. And, what to do with the Vikings?? *sigh*

So, I'll be spending the next 24 hours buried in old clutter trying to organize, categorize, and price! LOL So, if I'm not around much the next day or two, all is fine...just busy!

And, pray for me! I'm gonna need it! *wink*

Desiring your prayers

Despite the good report here, apparently there are battles still to be won. From Peggy's blog just now:

"Wish I had better news to report but.....Peggy woke up did not sleep well last night but does not remember it . She is back a sleep again.

She is not doing well she is very confused and aggitated..I think it might be a combination of the Medicine and her counts going up so quickly but not sure...will see what the Doctors have to say. They have been in to day they are probably going to do a chest xray because she is coughing and spitting up quite a bit of flem. She is also having some problems going to the bathroom. She is so independent and does not want help but if very unsteady on her feet.

Her WBC went up again today they went from 9.02 to 13.52 Not sure if that is all that good waiting to hear from Doctor ...the range depending where is get you information is 4-10 or 5-11 .. all her other count look good to platelets went from 171 up to 178 range is 150-399 so that is good ..Red blood count is down from 2.99 to 2.68 normal range is 4-5.2 Hemoglobin is at 8.2 was 9.2 yesterday Normal range is 12-16 ... her Neutrophil were .876 Sunday and today is 5.67...

She still has the sores in her mouth the Doctor was just in and they are going to stop the Morphine to see if that is causing the Confusion. She also is running a fever this morning of 100.9."

Pray as you are led. She's *so* close to conquering this thing with the Lord's help and healing. She's in the final stretch! Thank you!

Grafting News! A Memorable Weekend!

It appears that at 13 days post-transplant, my bro-in-law J's stem cells are officially starting to graft to Peggy's body! After nearly two weeks of awful and painful side effects and expected reactions, her numbers are increasing substantially! Praise God!

From their blog at CarePages:

Thursday (9 days post transplant [PT]): "She kept me busy we walked and then we walked and then we walked some more...She felt good we probably walked at least 15 times around the halls...She had some pain today in her mouth and throat but they have started giving her morphine constantly and it really seems to help. She is sleeping much better tonight...Peggy's WBC(white blood count) is .49 up from .28."

Friday (10 days PT): "Good Morning!!! Peggy woke up feeling good today..Her WBC jump from .49 to 1.22 which is great, Her platelets went from 46 to 85 which is good...Her vitals are all great ..Just the sores in her throat and mouth although it is being controlled by Morphine.. Otherwise she is feeling and doing great. We have done about 8 laps already today. She received one unit of blood earlier today. Peggy had a really great day today...We can say the engraftment has started ....Yeah Peggy is beginning to get a new Immune system and it is responding so far really well..She felt good all day except for the sores in her Mouth and throat which causes her not to be able to eat or drink anything..."

Saturday (11 days PT): "Peggy woke up feeling great!!! Her WBC Triple today went from 1.22 to 3.78 range depending where is get you information is 4-10 or 5-11 either way she is close to being in that range. all her other count look good to platelets went from 85 up to 130 range is 150-399 so she is almost there too..Red blood count is up from 2.60 to 3.05 normal range is 4-5.2 Hemoglobin went from 7.9 to 9.2 Normal range is 12-16 although she got help on this one with a unit of Blood yesterday her Neutrophil were .09 yesterday do not have them yet ..this is the big one they want the Neutrophil to be 1.0 before going home so we got a little ways to go yet on that one"

Sunday: (12 days PT): "We have been walking and walking and walking and then visiting with others ..We have had a great day!!! Peggy is feeling so well...she actually took a couple of drinks of water today which is great. Doctor Larson said she will start taking away 1 antibiotic at a time and see how Peggy does ...Then try to get her Mouth and Throat Better ...Her Neutrophil went from .09 to a .876 which is Awesome! 1.0 Means she is no longer Neutropenic the averages range is 1.84-7.80 ..."

Please continue to pray if you felt led. We were initially told it would be another month before she could come home. But, because of God's amazing healing hands, it could be as soon as next week!

So sad...

Hugging Pojke and Flicka a little tighter this morning...this man's music brought me back to Christ. How incredibly tragic.

Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter killed by car in driveway

"Steven Curtis Chapman’s youngest child died Wednesday evening after being struck by a car driven by her teenage brother in the driveway of the family’s Williamson County home.

Maria, one of the Christian singer’s six children, was taken by LifeFlight to Vanderbilt Hospital, which confirmed the death, according to Laura McPherson, a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.

The 5-year-old was hit by an SUV driven by her teenage brother, she said. Police did not give the driver’s name.

The teen was driving a Toyota Land Cruiser down the driveway of the rural home at about 5:30 p.m. and several children were playing in the area, McPherson said. He did not see Maria in the driveway before the vehicle struck her, she said.

“It appears to be a terrible accident,’’ McPherson said.

No charges are expected, she said. The accident was witnessed by two other children; the entire family was home at the time, McPherson said.

Singer/songwriter Chapman, who recently was inducted into Music City Walk of Fame, is one of contemporary Christian music’s most recognizable and most awarded names. "

See full article here.

On Chicago Time

At 1:50pm Central Daylight Time today, Peggy received 10 million healthy stem-soon-to-be-marrow cells without complication!

Praise Him - He is good!

Continue to pray that she experience little or no after effects (re: leukemia's version of donor rejection).

God willing, she'll be home in 3-5 weeks!

(My niece, my bro-in-law, Peggy, and my other niece.)

Be a Prayer Warrior

We'll be at our county's courthouse with some of our church family today at noon. Wherever you are at 12n today in your particular time zone, pray for your community's families and churches as well as your local/state/federal governments! Join us for the National Day of Prayer 2008!

A Monday prayer...UPDATED

DaHubby visiting with Aunt Peggy yesterday. As I type, Peg is en route to Chicago this morning for some pre-transplant testing. It is possible that they may keep her in Chicago and go ahead with the bone marrow transplant earlier than originally planned since Uncle Joel has to donate early due to IBM requiring him to travel overseas for work in the next few weeks.

If you felt led, please pray for God's will as well as His strength, wisdom, and guidance for all those involved with Peg's treatment as well as for Uncle Marlon, their daughters, and their grandbabies. And, a special level of divine comfort for my in-laws who are really struggling having lost their eldest son 3 years ago to lung cancer.

UPDATE: Just posted on Carepages by my niece:

"Just received a call from my Dad and he asked that I do a post to let you all know that he and Mom are on their way back home. Mom isn't strong enough to do the transplant at this time. So, they are sending her back home for probably at least a couple of weeks.

She did get to see her little brother who is there completing his portion. Mr. Camera-Happy (Dad) got a picture of the two of them and will be posting that when he gets back. So, I guess we will need to get LOTS of rest and try to eat a little more and try to get her stronger so that we can get her better..."

Small prayer request

Found out this morning that DaHubby's hours are being cut back again. Forty-five is his shop's "normal" but work is so slow so they're cut back to 40. This will result in DaHubby's check being cut by about 15% until further notice. *sigh* We're already cut back to the max since we're following the Dave Ramsey plan. So, something is going to have to give way...just not sure what that'll be yet.

Pray for wisdom, guidance, and discernment so that we can make wise decisions and still be good stewards as well as good parents and homeowners. And, pray that we'll feel His Presence at the times we'll feel the most discouraged.

As I told someone this morning in a different but challenging situation: God ALWAYS has a plan. This is a refining fire. There are better things ahead! Pray that we'll remember this as well.

A good season and good reason for potholes

The following list originally published here.

The top signs you're driving on Michigan roads:

14. Geologists thought they discovered a fissure in the Earth's crust on I-75. A quick call to the Department of Transportation cleared up the confusion and a road crew was dispatched immediately.

13. Urban Jeep owners have a new extreme driving sport: "On-roading."

12. Imported Canadian garbage is used to fill the biggest potholes.

11. You see "Men at Work" signs but the freeway is deserted, nor is this the Land Down Under.

10. The people up ahead are slaloming between the orange barrels. (My cousin actually did this in Grand Rapids, MI)

9. You see laid off auto workers beside the road with signs that read, "will fill potholes for food."

8. Instead of seeing signs that read "Road Construction, Next 3 Miles," you see signs that say, "No Construction, Next 3 Miles." (As a minor note, this one is sad, but true)

7. You see construction crews building bridges over potholes instead of filling them.

6. Michigan's gravel roads are smoother than its paved ones. (Also sad but true)

5. Your shocks last only 500 miles.

4. Police don't go on high-speed chases, fearing they might suffer a blow-out.

3. Some citizens start putting man-hole covers on the biggest potholes.

2. You never know there's a pothole in the road until you've driven out of it.

1. The welcome sign for Michigan over the freeway says "Welcome to Michigan! (bump)"

And, on that note...a silver lining. Heard this on our local Christian music station the other day. A school-aged girl called in for a request but also shared that someone told her that every time she's in a vehicle that hits a pothole, use it as a reminder to pray for someone

And, the DJ's joke in response: well, at least here in Michigan we'd be fulfilling 1 Thessalonians 5:17 since we'd be praying without ceasing! *wink*

Dentist Fear

Yea, well...I admit it.

The reason I gloat over never needing anything from the dentist but my biannual cleaning is because I take *really* careful care of my teeth because I'm terrified of the alternative.

The thought of a cleaning already makes me stress out but the thought that something MAJOR is wrong...that there will be needles involved...and extensive drilling...I'm making myself sick and I'm nearly in tears.

In 45 minutes is my appt with my dentist with regards to breaking my tooth about 12 days ago. It could end up a big filling, could be a crown, could be a root canal if I've broken it off far enough down. *sigh* I just don't know and not knowing is making me sick to my stomach.

I am the same person who at 11 or 12 years old had to have 8 teeth pulled (4 baby molars and the adults underneath) to prep for having braces put on. I was sitting in the old-styled dentist chair that actually had the foot long piece that came up on the end. And, after the procedure, I was so sore from straining and pressing constantly with my legs, nearly standing on that foot rest for what felt like eons-long extractions that I could barely walk and my legs were nearly as sore as my mouth.

All that being said, the financial side of this is just salt in the wound.

So, if you happen to read this before 4pm EDT, say a little prayer....please?

Praise Report!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Those of you who took Peggy before the Throne did a wonderful thing!

I hit "enter" for that post last night, we loaded the kids in the van, and were en route to church when the phone rang. DaGrandma was calling - they were on the way home from Chicago and...

The test results came in.

Bone marrow? CANCER-FREE! No leukemia cells found!
Staph infection? NOPE!

This is VERY good news!

From the last two posts Peggy's husband put on their CarePages blog:

Last night: "...the chemo worked it killed all the White Blood cells Good and Bad ...But Peggy will need another Bone Marrow Test maybe next Thursday to make sure the good ones are being rebuilt. Although the Doctor fully thinks everything is going good. He said it might not seem like she should have the high fevers but that is normal for any one who has went though as much Chemo as Peggy. The Infection has be identified as a small pc of dead skin that got in her line and caused the infection. It happens everyday to people but the immune systems can fight it off.Peggy at this point has no immune system. They have killed the infection culture in the lab with the Antibiotics they are giving her. So Doctor thinks the Antibiotics should do the trick. So we are waiting now for the White Blood Counts to go up and the fevers to cease then we can go home for a couple of weeks."

This morning: "Well last night was a good night... Only had a couple of fevers but I think they were only like 100.5 Which is real good considering what she was having. They have introduce lactic (lasix?) to get rid of Fluids...The white Blood Count went up to .04 this morning so that is good.. We are on the way to recovery!!!"

Again, thanks to everyone who prayed. We really appreciate it. She still has weeks to go in the hospital (according to DaGrandma) but this is much needed good news.