Monday, January 22, 2007

In His Lap

As I alluded to yesterday, I had one of those "momma days" where it seemed like everything was conspiring against me getting to church or getting anything done. The short version? Starting from Saturday afternoon: playdate, kids WAY overstimulated, no naps, dealing cranky kids all evening alone while Da Hubby worked on a home project, kids' bedtime, parent bedtime around 1am, Viking #2 up at 4:30am ready for the day, weather bad, van battery dead, overall rotten attitude ensued.

However, I got seriously mad about the time the van wouldn't start. "Devil, you are NOT keeping me from church so GET OVER IT and LEAVE ME BE!" Da Hubby, already at church for praise and worship warm up, via cell phones patiently walked me through jump starting the van from a charger he keeps in the garage.

When I got to church, they must have seen me coming! LOL One woman scooped up Viking #1 and said "I'll get her unbundled...go get your boy." I came back in with #2 and the nursery worker scooped him out of my arms after a hug and hello from Da Grandma. Relieved of the kids momentarily, I took off my coat, dropped off my multitudinous bags in the sanctuary, and went to get some liquid caffeine from the fellowship room in the form of a diet soda. Two of my "church moms" were still mingling, took one look at me, and I burst into tears. The three of us then spent 10-15 minutes letting me vent and them telling me that it was completely normal, yes the devil attacks on Sundays, and how they survived their kids being young! LOL

We eventually "sneaked" into sanctuary during the second praise and worship song. #1 had made it to the toddler room unscathed. I found #2 in the arms of his aunt dozing off having been up for about 6 hours at this point...the little bugger. And, I greeted some of my family that sits around us in our "usual" seats. And, I began to sing...

I could barely make it through the first chorus. I still felt like just collapsing. Then, I had a revelation. I had a place to curl up, cry, and be His lap! My perfect Heavenly Father had his arms open wide and an empty lap just waiting for me. I stopped singing (not that I had a choice choking through tears) and just pictured in my mind bowing at His feet and then just crawling up into the safety of His arms...just as #1 would do with Da Hubby. And, the thought made me smile! And, the sense of Him saying "there, there, it'll be alright" just washed over me.

I've often wondered in exhaustion "well, who's gonna take care of ME?" after looking after home, kids, and Da Hubby. While I have the most-est awesome-est husband, he can't be ALL things to me at ALL times. But, the Lord can! My Daddy can make everything alright! And, a little hug, a little snuggle with Him, a kiss on the head, and I was off on my way through my day again.

Thank you, Lord!! You are more awesome than words can express! Thanks for being my Daddy!

Psalms 18:30 [As for] God, His way [is] perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He [is] a shield to all who trust in Him.


Laurel Wreath said...

Oh girl I have been there. I "felt" this post as I read it. I even wrote about it a couple of Sundays ago. You are so strong to still go, when you had to jump start the car.

(((hugs)) God is our comforter, he proves that to me time and time again. Oh and praise God for women who know just when to step in!!!


Debbie said...

This is awesome.....I know exactly the comfort of which you speak. It reminds me of a line from a song,
"Who is like the Lord? Nobody!"

Christina said...

Beth, I can totally relate. You are so right...when the question pops into my mind about who will take care of mommy, my answer should be God. But it's easy to forget that for some reason.

Thanks for the reminder and I hope this week goes a little smoother for you.

By the way, I was up from 3:00am on Sunday morning, suffering from some sort of panic attack (Oh joy) and had to be at church early to play for the service. I totally understand feeling "attacked".

lady of value said...

Amen!! God is our Comforter and Rock and we can cling to Him. Glad you have women in which to mentor you through these years. God bless you!

Unashamed said...

I remember one time going to church exhausted and overwhelmed - it was just like you described - and I was sitting with my husband waiting for the service to start and trying not to cry. And this dear older woman (Doreen Bannikoff is her name) came over to me. I guess she could see that I was struggling. Without a word she gave me a long hug and when she pulled back she said, "Honey, you just let Jesus wrap his arms around you". In that moment, it was as if He DID. I have never forgotten her kindness and her words.

Denise said...

Amen, I am so very thankful that God is my daddy. Bless you for your strength sweetie.

BrideOfChrist said...

What a great post. I have had *so* many moments like that where I just don't know who to talk to or who to vent to since I don't want to put it on my dear fiance and then, as you did, I remember that I can crawl into my Heavenly Daddy's lap and just cry it out and He will smile down at me, knowing that, this too, shall pass - because HE will make it so! Thank you for sharing :)