Monday, March 23, 2009

Mommy Memo

It was my turn to write the "Mommy Memo" for our local MOMS Club newsletter this month. I just finished it and thought it would make a good post here as well! LOL And, if you are reading this via the RSS feed to Facebook and are in my MOMS group - wait for the newsletter! *wink*

“Different mommies, different rules.”

But, Mom, THEY get to wear shorts…but, Mom, they don’t have to wear a jacket…but, MOM, they don’t have to leave yet.

And, I say “different mommies, different rules.”

Flicka’s already wondering why her mom does things differently than other moms sometimes and, 80% of the time, those four words get me out of a longer explanation.

But, what about the other 20%?

If you think about the amazing number of choices, the variety of backgrounds, and the astounding number of different experiences we have all had, it’s a miracle any of us really have anything in common at all. There are an infinite number of combinations but we still bond together over the trials and joys of pregnancy, labor, nursing/feeding, diapering, pacifiers, sippies, and potty training.

And, yet, we as well as our children all turn out “normal.”

One of the most profound things I’ve learned being a mom is that there is no one right way to raise kids. Despite what we hear from family, the media, and each other, there is no one right way to fit every child of every temperament at every age.

While this may not come as a shock to some of you, it was for me in a way. Being a mom isn’t about doing it “right,” it’s about diving in with both hands, up to your elbows dirty, thinking your brain will explode noise levels, and coming up with happy, well-balanced kids!

It’s hard work – a point I think few of us would argue. And, we are all striving to do the best by ourselves, our spouses, and our kids each and every day. Accidents happen; mistakes happen too. And, at least half of them are probably done in public.

But, we’re all heading the same general direction toward the same common goal. So, when you see the mom at Dairy Queen doing things differently than you, cut her some slack. And, when the mom at the park does something unexpected, just let it slide. We all have a different “bag of tricks” and a varying level of skills that we use. That along with all the infinite possibilities mentioned above makes each decision we make particularly unique. But, what’s so cool about it is this – no one knows our kids like we do and those decisions are made especially for them.

Unique moms. Unique skills. Unique decisions. Unique kids.

Thus, my simplified answer to Flicka: different mommies, different rules.


sara said...

nope. I'm right, they're wrong. *wink*

Anonymous said...

This is one of the best posts I've ever seen. We all tend to judge ourselves against others' ideals. What we should do is ensure that we have good intentions and take it from there. Thanks Beth. You're amazing.