Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Thinking about advice...over a week later.

I tend to obsess.

Big shocker, eh?

It feels like my ADD drives me to focus on details - some relevant, some not. I don't "do" change well either. It throws me off my grand master plan to get things accomplished. As a result, I take criticism hard because (one) it means going back over those details and (two) it might mean change.

So, when a well-meaning senior citizen who sat with us July Fourth weekend at a AYCE pancake breakfast finished her polite conversation with a zinger like "you need to worry less and just appreciate them", it pulled me up a little short.

My first gut response and the voices in my head that followed were not very Christian. LOL I was immediately defensive and critical. Then, I tried to remember that this lady had known us less than an hour and I was over-reacting.

But, over the last week, as I scheduled and planned and obsessed and crossed things off my unending to-do list it struck me:

I was "parenting" and not "appreciating" my kids.

Now, DaHubby and I are NOT the "be my kids' best friend" type of parents but I think it is a good reminder that by "parenting" all the time, we can simply become nags. All law and consequences and no grace and love.

I think most of the time he and I provide a good balance of the two but, with all the upheaval in our lives lately, I think we need to err even more on the side of grace.

This realization that the little old lady might be right was brought home again when Pojke had his first little emotional, right-before-bed breakdown last night..."I just wanna go back to (our former town). "

I've been so focused on moving forward and getting things in place here that I've forgotten to shepherd their little hearts along with me with grace and love and not a rope!

So, we will be slowing down even further, building back up our family even more, setting up our new digs a little slower. More hugs, fewer to-do's. More snuggling, fewer errands. More reading, fewer chores...for now.

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