I tend to obsess.
Big shocker, eh?
It feels like my ADD drives me to focus on details - some relevant, some not. I don't "do" change well either. It throws me off my grand master plan to get things accomplished. As a result, I take criticism hard because (one) it means going back over those details and (two) it might mean change.
So, when a well-meaning senior citizen who sat with us July Fourth weekend at a AYCE pancake breakfast finished her polite conversation with a zinger like "you need to worry less and just appreciate them", it pulled me up a little short.
My first gut response and the voices in my head that followed were not very Christian. LOL I was immediately defensive and critical. Then, I tried to remember that this lady had known us less than an hour and I was over-reacting.
But, over the last week, as I scheduled and planned and obsessed and crossed things off my unending to-do list it struck me:
I was "parenting" and not "appreciating" my kids.
Now, DaHubby and I are NOT the "be my kids' best friend" type of parents but I think it is a good reminder that by "parenting" all the time, we can simply become nags. All law and consequences and no grace and love.
I think most of the time he and I provide a good balance of the two but, with all the upheaval in our lives lately, I think we need to err even more on the side of grace.
This realization that the little old lady might be right was brought home again when Pojke had his first little emotional, right-before-bed breakdown last night..."I just wanna go back to (our former town). "
I've been so focused on moving forward and getting things in place here that I've forgotten to shepherd their little hearts along with me with grace and love and not a rope!
So, we will be slowing down even further, building back up our family even more, setting up our new digs a little slower. More hugs, fewer to-do's. More snuggling, fewer errands. More reading, fewer chores...for now.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Simplicity Training
As with most challenges in life, you tell yourself (or someone else tells you) that these troubles are here for a reason and that you'll look back some day and see the bigger reason. Usually, it takes a pretty good chunk of time for that to happen but the older I've gotten the more I realize it is true.
Sometimes the meaning sneaks up on you and comes to the surface when you least expect it. Other times it hits you in a flash while you are looking up, watching clouds while your children play.
I've already learned thankfulness about our situation the last few years despite sacrifices of time and money, of my marriage and my relationship with my kids, of my husband's job, of health insurance, and having to live on assistance from others. We've seen an outpouring of care, interest, and support unlike anything we've experienced before and have had our faith reinforced in a way we never could have understood otherwise. And, we are VERY grateful because of it.
However, this 3-year refining has gotten us back to basics. And, this is where my little revelation comes in. Had not God taken each and everything little and big thing away in just the manner He did, we could never had really appreciated the beautiful, hyper-present, in-the-moment, vivid, joyful moments we've had in the last week.
The last seven days have been heart-wrenchingly wonderful. And, it's been moments of simplicity...root beer floats at the parade, playing in the rain, riding bikes and scooters, taking hikes, small-town fireworks...but we are doing it together. For the first time in six months, we've all been under the same roof for more than 48 hours.
And, our little one-bedroom apartment that we are in right now? Probably the biggest blessing of all. Because we are all getting to know each other again as a foursome. Just us.
And, that bigger three-bedroom rental house that should be ready for us soon? I've actually thought we should let the deposit and that house go so we can stay here together even longer.
And, those 3 years of learning what is *really* important and what we *really* need to survive and thrive? Training for the joyfulness that is ours now.
Sometimes the meaning sneaks up on you and comes to the surface when you least expect it. Other times it hits you in a flash while you are looking up, watching clouds while your children play.
I've already learned thankfulness about our situation the last few years despite sacrifices of time and money, of my marriage and my relationship with my kids, of my husband's job, of health insurance, and having to live on assistance from others. We've seen an outpouring of care, interest, and support unlike anything we've experienced before and have had our faith reinforced in a way we never could have understood otherwise. And, we are VERY grateful because of it.
However, this 3-year refining has gotten us back to basics. And, this is where my little revelation comes in. Had not God taken each and everything little and big thing away in just the manner He did, we could never had really appreciated the beautiful, hyper-present, in-the-moment, vivid, joyful moments we've had in the last week.
The last seven days have been heart-wrenchingly wonderful. And, it's been moments of simplicity...root beer floats at the parade, playing in the rain, riding bikes and scooters, taking hikes, small-town fireworks...but we are doing it together. For the first time in six months, we've all been under the same roof for more than 48 hours.
And, our little one-bedroom apartment that we are in right now? Probably the biggest blessing of all. Because we are all getting to know each other again as a foursome. Just us.
And, that bigger three-bedroom rental house that should be ready for us soon? I've actually thought we should let the deposit and that house go so we can stay here together even longer.
And, those 3 years of learning what is *really* important and what we *really* need to survive and thrive? Training for the joyfulness that is ours now.
Friday, July 8, 2011
7 Quick Takes
Been having trouble getting my blogging discipline ramped up again so, as I scanned through 1000+ blog posts waiting for me in Google Reader, I thought I'd jump on board with a meme from one of my favorite bloggers, Jen at Conversion Diary.
So, seven random thoughts for today...
1. I've shocked myself and many others with my assertion that we are actually very happy (thankyouverymuch) with our current temporary housing situation. We've moved about 50% of our stuff from Michigan to Illinois. However, the new rental is not ready yet so that 50% plus DaHubby's things from the last 6 months plus all four of us are now residing in a one bedroom apartment. LOL To be honest, after not living together for the last six months, it's been a blessing. It's like camping with a full kitchen and full bath! LOL The kids have the bedroom while DaHubby and I are sleeping on a sofa bed. And, having less than 600 square feet of cleaning to do - even with no dishwasher - has been wonderful!
2. Speaking of the dishwasher...can I say I don't really miss it as much as I thought I would? Are you shocked? LOL After some initial re-training of the troops to not use a brand new glass for each drink during the day, the dish load has been actually a lot less than I planned. And, my ADD appreciates the little-bit-at-a-time approach to a chore that is still my least favorite.
3. With all due respect to our family and friends we left behind in Michigan, this week has been wonderfully free of all our usual commitments and, again, a blessing after not being together as a family for so long.
4. Another observation this week with regards to the Vikings...this trip to Illinois I had them each pack one large Rubbermaid container of toys and such instead of bringing over their entire arsenal of stuff. And, they've never complained. They have been perfectly happy with a fraction of their usual menagerie of playthings.
5. I have been a little concerned about being the "new kids" in a small town, fitting in as the
"city slickers" in a big-time farming community. I've been particularly impressed with how kind and helpful everyone has been. "Welcome to the area" has been the resounding phrase most of our last week.
6. Had our first nice summer rain this week - the kind with no weather watches or warnings attached, with no thunder and lightning so the Vikings played in the rain for the first time I can remember and we saw our first IL double rainbow!
7. Finally, can I tell ya that a local library and its staff is better than any welcoming committee EVER!? LOL We have visited the three closest and have armfuls of handouts, schedules, calendars, and brochures of things going on here in Ogle County for most of the rest of the year.
So, what's going on in your world? Stop by Jen's place today for more Quick Takes!
So, seven random thoughts for today...
1. I've shocked myself and many others with my assertion that we are actually very happy (thankyouverymuch) with our current temporary housing situation. We've moved about 50% of our stuff from Michigan to Illinois. However, the new rental is not ready yet so that 50% plus DaHubby's things from the last 6 months plus all four of us are now residing in a one bedroom apartment. LOL To be honest, after not living together for the last six months, it's been a blessing. It's like camping with a full kitchen and full bath! LOL The kids have the bedroom while DaHubby and I are sleeping on a sofa bed. And, having less than 600 square feet of cleaning to do - even with no dishwasher - has been wonderful!
2. Speaking of the dishwasher...can I say I don't really miss it as much as I thought I would? Are you shocked? LOL After some initial re-training of the troops to not use a brand new glass for each drink during the day, the dish load has been actually a lot less than I planned. And, my ADD appreciates the little-bit-at-a-time approach to a chore that is still my least favorite.
3. With all due respect to our family and friends we left behind in Michigan, this week has been wonderfully free of all our usual commitments and, again, a blessing after not being together as a family for so long.
4. Another observation this week with regards to the Vikings...this trip to Illinois I had them each pack one large Rubbermaid container of toys and such instead of bringing over their entire arsenal of stuff. And, they've never complained. They have been perfectly happy with a fraction of their usual menagerie of playthings.
5. I have been a little concerned about being the "new kids" in a small town, fitting in as the
"city slickers" in a big-time farming community. I've been particularly impressed with how kind and helpful everyone has been. "Welcome to the area" has been the resounding phrase most of our last week.
6. Had our first nice summer rain this week - the kind with no weather watches or warnings attached, with no thunder and lightning so the Vikings played in the rain for the first time I can remember and we saw our first IL double rainbow!
7. Finally, can I tell ya that a local library and its staff is better than any welcoming committee EVER!? LOL We have visited the three closest and have armfuls of handouts, schedules, calendars, and brochures of things going on here in Ogle County for most of the rest of the year.
So, what's going on in your world? Stop by Jen's place today for more Quick Takes!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Root Beer Revelation
So...we've made our initial move to Illinois. And, we are loving it. We are finally living together as a family for the first time in 6 months. We love our little town of 3,000 people. We're loving the area which is a beautiful combination of wooded wonders, a beautiful river, and currently adolescent corn fields. :)
And, in the course of enjoying the weekend's festivities, we're starting to meet some neighbors. At the parade yesterday, a recently divorced mom with a couple kids from across the street sat next to us. She was alone since her boys were with their dad but we visited before the parade got underway. While we waited, I remembered that I had root beer and a little ice cream left back at DaHubby's apartment a block away.
So, I walked back, threw the camera (which we'd forgot) and the 2 liter of root bear in a shopping bag, and made up four cups with a scoop of ice cream each. Then, I carried the bag and the cups back to where DaHubby, the Vikings, and our neighbor were sitting.
Once there, I opened the root bear and proceeded to pour some in the first cup. I then gave it to DaHubby. The neighbor, who had already set a precedent of offering her opinion on situations freely, loudly cajoled DaHubby when he began enjoying it instead of passing it along to one of the Vikings.
She looked at me as if to say "aren't you gonna say something" and I simply said "he's head of the household. He gets his first."
DaHubby and I chuckled about it a few times later that day but it got me to thinking. And, I posted on Facebook a poll of my momma friends to see what they said. Now, I'm not sure I asked the question in a clear enough way but, apparently, I am alone in wanting to serve my hubby first. LOL
Now, I realize "different families, different rules" and I'm not throwing out judgment on anyone who disagrees. My thought is he not the head of household? Isn't delayed gratification and patience and respect something my kids should be learning? Plus, the practical side of it - I have only one set of hands. So, if not DaHubby, then which kid? Does whoever gets his/her treat first really carry that much significance anyway.
I've been working through the process of what exactly Biblical submission means for me as a believer and as a wife as I've mentioned before. And, I've viewed my staying at home full time as a way to serve my family so my going first isn't really a comfortable option for me. So, serving DaHubby first makes perfect sense to me. It doesn't always happen - mostly because he likes his food with significantly more spice, salt, and pepper than the rest of us so often I leave his plate on the counter so he can season his food as he likes.
But, my neighbor was seriously floored by my decision. Like shocked silent momentarily which is saying something considering the amount of conversation we've had in the few days we've been here.
And, my friends have reminded me of their perfectly good and reasonable reasons to serve their kids first...or not serve them at all as everyone would get their own food. It's just my ongoing evaluation of questioning what we're doing and why exactly so that we are consciously making choices for our family that work for us.
If given the same set of circumstances, what would YOU have done?
And, in the course of enjoying the weekend's festivities, we're starting to meet some neighbors. At the parade yesterday, a recently divorced mom with a couple kids from across the street sat next to us. She was alone since her boys were with their dad but we visited before the parade got underway. While we waited, I remembered that I had root beer and a little ice cream left back at DaHubby's apartment a block away.
So, I walked back, threw the camera (which we'd forgot) and the 2 liter of root bear in a shopping bag, and made up four cups with a scoop of ice cream each. Then, I carried the bag and the cups back to where DaHubby, the Vikings, and our neighbor were sitting.
Once there, I opened the root bear and proceeded to pour some in the first cup. I then gave it to DaHubby. The neighbor, who had already set a precedent of offering her opinion on situations freely, loudly cajoled DaHubby when he began enjoying it instead of passing it along to one of the Vikings.
She looked at me as if to say "aren't you gonna say something" and I simply said "he's head of the household. He gets his first."
DaHubby and I chuckled about it a few times later that day but it got me to thinking. And, I posted on Facebook a poll of my momma friends to see what they said. Now, I'm not sure I asked the question in a clear enough way but, apparently, I am alone in wanting to serve my hubby first. LOL
Now, I realize "different families, different rules" and I'm not throwing out judgment on anyone who disagrees. My thought is he not the head of household? Isn't delayed gratification and patience and respect something my kids should be learning? Plus, the practical side of it - I have only one set of hands. So, if not DaHubby, then which kid? Does whoever gets his/her treat first really carry that much significance anyway.
I've been working through the process of what exactly Biblical submission means for me as a believer and as a wife as I've mentioned before. And, I've viewed my staying at home full time as a way to serve my family so my going first isn't really a comfortable option for me. So, serving DaHubby first makes perfect sense to me. It doesn't always happen - mostly because he likes his food with significantly more spice, salt, and pepper than the rest of us so often I leave his plate on the counter so he can season his food as he likes.
But, my neighbor was seriously floored by my decision. Like shocked silent momentarily which is saying something considering the amount of conversation we've had in the few days we've been here.
And, my friends have reminded me of their perfectly good and reasonable reasons to serve their kids first...or not serve them at all as everyone would get their own food. It's just my ongoing evaluation of questioning what we're doing and why exactly so that we are consciously making choices for our family that work for us.
If given the same set of circumstances, what would YOU have done?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Our line in the sand
Very few things have been written in stone for us lately. All of us at the Viking Hus have learned the value of "going with the flow" and "letting go and letting God" in recent years.
But, when it comes to coordinating a cross-region/three-state move, at some point you have to (poop) or get off the pot! LOL
After sitting down with all the respective calendars (his work, Flicka's school, summer camps, etc), DaHubby and I finally put a stamp on Fourth of July weekend as the weekend we are leaving our home state of Michigan and heading to Illinois for whatever new adventure God is setting up for us there.
And, it causing me some heart break.
I found myself tearing up at church today when I considered this will be our last Easter there.
And, our favorite children's church worker today announced to the congregation that he's leaving his "day job" as a middle school principal and going into the ministry full time! Praise God - but we won't be able to see his move from teaching to Pastor of Children's Ministry.
I've started a local "bucket list" of things I want to do (alone, with DaHubby, and with the kids) before we leave this area.
Seventy-six days and counting...
Seventy-six days to see additional way God will move in our lives to bring this plan of His to completion.
Seventy-six days until we are living as a family under one roof again.
And, for that and more, I say "PRAISE GOD"!
But, when it comes to coordinating a cross-region/three-state move, at some point you have to (poop) or get off the pot! LOL
After sitting down with all the respective calendars (his work, Flicka's school, summer camps, etc), DaHubby and I finally put a stamp on Fourth of July weekend as the weekend we are leaving our home state of Michigan and heading to Illinois for whatever new adventure God is setting up for us there.
And, it causing me some heart break.
I found myself tearing up at church today when I considered this will be our last Easter there.
And, our favorite children's church worker today announced to the congregation that he's leaving his "day job" as a middle school principal and going into the ministry full time! Praise God - but we won't be able to see his move from teaching to Pastor of Children's Ministry.
I've started a local "bucket list" of things I want to do (alone, with DaHubby, and with the kids) before we leave this area.
Seventy-six days and counting...
Seventy-six days to see additional way God will move in our lives to bring this plan of His to completion.
Seventy-six days until we are living as a family under one roof again.
And, for that and more, I say "PRAISE GOD"!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Mercies in Disguise?
We've been through a lot these last few years. Our lessons have been in patience, waiting for God's timing, faith in His promises, and trust in His provision. And, He has kept every last one - just not always as we expected.
It's been a refining time. Our belief is stronger; our faith is deeper. But, we've learned that that doesn't happen with simply reading the Word and/or attending church. Or, by simply trying to "be a good person."
It has come from pain, discomfort, friction, stress...and the ways in which each are handled.
At this point in our travels, it's very hard for me to listen to this song without sobbing by the end. LOL But, it so perfectly puts into words much of what we've painfully learned since 2008.
And, if anyone is unable to hear or make out all the lyrics, I've copied them below...
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
(Chorus)
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Chorus
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Chorus
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
It's been a refining time. Our belief is stronger; our faith is deeper. But, we've learned that that doesn't happen with simply reading the Word and/or attending church. Or, by simply trying to "be a good person."
It has come from pain, discomfort, friction, stress...and the ways in which each are handled.
At this point in our travels, it's very hard for me to listen to this song without sobbing by the end. LOL But, it so perfectly puts into words much of what we've painfully learned since 2008.
And, if anyone is unable to hear or make out all the lyrics, I've copied them below...
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
(Chorus)
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Chorus
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Chorus
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
Friday, April 1, 2011
And, some things I've been making...
One of my best friends turned me on to this very simple craft to spiff up plain shirts. It is also good for hiding stains on favorite shirts that the Vikings are not ready to let go of yet. LOL
Old shirts + contrasting "scrap" or bargain material + iron-on transfer web = these little beauties!
Old shirts + contrasting "scrap" or bargain material + iron-on transfer web = these little beauties!
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