Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Schedule AND an Attitude Change

As I've mentioned several times before, Change and I are not on very good terms. And, this transition to Flicka's kindergarten year has not been a smooth one.

Every plan we made failed. Talking about school in August put her in a panic. Checked out books about school? Made her cry. Made a countdown paper chain - each night she cried harder as the chain shortened.

Then, school actually started.

It took until day 10 of the new school year before Flicka didn't throw a 8.5 on the Richter scale level tantrum about getting up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, going to school, getting in the van, and getting out of the van every. single. morning. And, the first four days her teacher or the principal had to come get Flicka from the parking lot and escort her to class because she refused to get out of the van.

And, don't get me started with about getting her dressed. I tried to make it her "big girl" decision about what she could wear from her new selection of school clothes. First week, we tried picking out a week's worth of clothes and putting them in a cute little storage thingy I devised. That failed. Tantrum city. Second week, we went to picking out the outfit the night before. Still tantrums. Finally, this week, *I* pick out two outfits and she gets to pick from those...still fits of whining but definitely some improvement.

In the middle of the second week, I came to a realization. I needed to just let go of the process. I'd like to say this was easy but apparently my control freak tendencies have a sturdy grip of my psyche. I'm never without a plan. Never NOT thinking 30-60 minutes ahead. My tendency for conflict-avoidance along with my ADD-induced hyper-organized attempts to keep everything together keeps my brain working at 110% from the moment my feet hit the floor 'til I collapse into bed. Those of you who know me IRL can testify to this in great detail, I'm sure.

I've always been envious of my friends and fellow moms who have all their little charts and stars and new plans ready to go this time of the year. But, it was just TOO much change for us to cope.

So, I let go.

And, we took it day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute.

And, ya know what? Things got better. *I* felt better. Flicka got better. Pojke still rolled with it like he always does - bless his little heart. And, I felt happier. I began to be able to enjoy the one-on-one time with Pojke. A little 3-hour-a-day distance made the time with Flicka more enjoyable. Everything just didn't feel *so* intense any more.

I have also started to roll with our schedule better. And, I'm getting more done with the "free time" I have. I've added some "mommy-only" time which will better help me keep my head above water while DaHubby finishes another year of full time school while working 45+ hours a week. Blogging is coming easier. I've been asked to write a few guest posts on another site. I'm into the 3rd week of homeschool preschool with Pojke. And, DaHubby and I got away for a parent-only mini-vacation when we ran away from home last weekend to go canoeing! LOL

My housework schedule hasn't gotten back on track. And, our meals are still a little chaotic - we're kind of eating in shifts...something I didn't really ever want to do. But, it's all a work in progress. And, I'm cutting myself more slack.

How's that for adapting to change? Just don't check back here the first day one of the Vikings gets sick! LOL

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