I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about this "mama bear" instinct. It keeps coming up in different circumstances - and not all of them related to the Vikings.
In my Bible study group which was reading Esther, we talked about how in chapter 9, Esther asks King Xerxes for another day for the Jews to defend themselves against Haman's decree. We talked about why she would make such a request. Possible bad reason? She was getting used to being in power and was wielding it rashly. Possible good reason? She was feeling a little "mama bear-ish" about her people and wanted to make sure all the enemies of the Jews were annihilated.
Then, there's a well-meaning friend of the family that has taken to teasing Pojke lately. Asking to see his ever-present "beep beeps" (aka toy trucks) he carries everywhere with him and occasionally his lovey, "Susie". The man has taken the toys and/or Susie when left unattended and wants Pojke to give him a hug to get it back. He's called him a sissy and a mama's boy when Pojke turns to me for help. He's called him a baby for having Susie at all. Things like that.
Initially, it wasn't bad but it crossed the line somewhere and now is very upsetting to Pojke. Since this is a friend of the family, I've hesitated to say anything so far. But, as it has continued, I find my "mama bear" rising up in defense.
And, lately, there have been friends of DaHubby's who poke fun at him. For being "too smart", for going to school while working, for allowing me to handle the finances, for not doing more of the typically man-like things in which they feel DaHubby should be participating. And, again, I feel my "mama bear" bearing her teeth.
Then, while attending my last Beth Moore session for that study of Esther, she mentioned the following verse of Scripture:
To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire [shall be] for your husband, And he shall rule over you." Genesis 3:16 (NKJV)
Beth Moore talked about how we should pay less attention to what society says about beauty, femininity, and being desirable and focus more about what God say about our value and beauty as well as what our hubbies think. We should be desiring after THEM not society.
My desire should be for DaHubby - and it is. My desire to love and defend him flows naturally from that. And, those little sweet Vikings, I love them that dearly. Thus, I also feel the need to defend and protect. All things come from that love...even that mama bear instinct. The challenge is to reign it in so as to still remain Christ-like.
Jesus loves us ever-so-much more than we love our hubbies and children. How much MORE "mama bear" feelings does He have towards us? While we refer to God as "Abba Father", I think it would be good to remember that He also has a large dose of "mama bear-ish" feelings for us as well. We need to remember that He is standing between us and those things which would hurt us.
Jehovah Nissi - My Banner and Protector!
And Moses built an altar and called its name, The-LORD-Is-My-Banner; Exodus 17:15 (NKJV)
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2 comments:
Beth, you hold on to those mama bear instincts.
You know your man is doing right by you all. I don't get why working hard and living up to one's potential is a bad thing. Should we all celebrate being slackers?
And that friend of the family needs a punch in the nose. Get DaHubby to do it. I can't stand that kind of emotional manipulation - especially towards a child. The man wants affection for acting like a jerk?
much love to you.
You know Beth, those "mama bear" feelings are there for a reason. It sounds like you are completely justified to feel as you do.
The family friend who is teasing Pojke needs to be stopped. That's just not okay and your feelings that it has crossed the line sound spot-on to me. Still, it must be a bit of a delicate situation.
As for feeling that way about your husband, I can completely sympathize there. I've been having some very similar feelings about his employer who, despite him more than meeting his comittments over the nearly 10 years he's been there, have not followed through on theirs to him. It's totally unfair, and he's feeling a bit like Jacob, having worked 7 years for one daughter only to get another...and then having to work even longer. I'd like to give them a piece of my mind.
I don't even know your husband, but I know he's a good man simply by how hard he works to better himself and his family's situation.
Hang in there...and hugs!
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